A Woman's Glory: Choosing Home Over Career
Editor's Note: This is a guest post by my friend Bryan, a Hard Men Podcast patron. I've been in his family's home and can attest to the incredible job his wife, Kristina, does as she wisely manages the home, keeps the table topped with delicious food, and keeps the children meaningfully engaged. There simply wouldn't be durable households without strong, competent, loving wives like Kristina who have chosen, above their careers, to serve their husbands and children.
WARNING: Content contained in this post may offend feminists, and that's OK.
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This picture makes me so happy because something so simple makes my wife so happy. I know it's Father's day weekend, but I felt compelled to write a post praising my wife.
The culture we are immersed in is one that praises women that climb the corporate ladder and looks at women that are keepers and workers in their homes with pity at best, but more commonly with rancor, bitterness, and contempt.
Kristina was at one time a corporate ladder climber. Not to mention a single mom and a full-time student all at the same time. Fast forward a few years (8 years to be exact) and she is a happily married mother of six children who aptly manages the affairs of our home with a toughness and strength that is somehow covered in grace and elegance that can only come from the Holy Spirit.
She left a very promising career to be a worker in the home. She didn't even blink. She walked away from a decade's worth of corporate ladder climbing and never looked back. (I was a little more hesitant because I am the one that handles our finances...it actually looked like financial suicide for our home.)
Kristina knew God wanted her to be in the home. We prayed through it and made some major sacrifices and over the course of about a year transitioned from a dual income home to a single income home. It was tough for a time, but God has blessed our obedience in ways we never could have imagined.
Watching Kristina work in the home warms my heart. It's not always perfect—it's actually very challenging—but she knows the work she is doing has eternal ramifications and God has called her to it. It's often a mess, at times quite chaotic, and there's never a dull moment, but the work likely feels mundane day after day. Kristina is a missionary in our home and as great missionaries of history always do, they face harsh conditions knowing eternal souls are at stake.
She takes her work seriously and she does not eat the bread of idleness. There is no laying on the couch binge watching Netflix with a bucket of cheese puffs, no credit card spending sprees at the mall for expensive purses or shoes. It is nothing but hard work for the glory of God from the time her toes touch the floor at 6 a.m. until her head hits the pillow around midnight.
She doesn't complain, but instead works with joy. She beautifies every area of our home. It would be easy to make a microwave meal or to slap something bland together—and who could blame her?—but instead she cooks three full multi-course meals for our family everyday. One might stumble into our house around supper and think it's a special occasion, perhaps a holiday, but it's just another day in our home with our gourmet chef.
Walking into the organized chaos of home education is always a treat as well. The children are always enthused to show me what they've learned, whether it's reading, counting, math, arts & crafts, or whatever else. This is the one area that Kristina wasn't so sure of her abilities beforehand. Educating our children scared her to death, but they are all right on track and sharp as can be.
The laundry and dishes never stop, but neither does Kristina. The children's sicknesses are no match for her motherly remedies. There is no task too tall for her. I have four daughters that see this day in and day out and they could not be more fortunate to have such an incredible example. They see it and that's why they follow in her footsteps already. Gracie stays with a baby on her hip and loves to cook, Reagan loves doing laundry, and Abigail just fits in wherever she can, haha.
What is the purpose of this long post?
"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."
My wife's work is worthy of praise, it's that simple. I am the husband saying, "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
Side Note: The above picture may seem simple, but there is so much behind it. My wife has wanted this exact mixer (plum color and all) since we got married nearly eight years ago. For a long time we were poor and it just wasn't in the cards. We worked and followed God's lead and what may seem like a simple kitchen mixer for some actually represents a major milestone for us.
Proverbs 31:10-31
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.